"Do What You Have To Do"

I heard this song tonight and it really hit home, reminding me of Lucy. I know it is about a lost lover but I feel like it applies to my angel baby as well.


Youtube:


and Lyrics:
What ravages of spirits conjured this temptuous rage?
Created you a monster, broken by the rule of love
And fate has lead you through it, you do what you have to do
And fate has lead you through it, you do what you have to do
I had the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go
Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
Glowing ember burning hot and burning slow
Deeper than I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you
I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do
I know I can't come with you, I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go



I am still in this place--because it's too early!--where I know I can't be with Lucy, but I can't let go of Lucy, either.

To the outside world I cope remarkably well, take Hailey and Maddie on outings and make outings of my own, I go out, I cook, I clean, I have people over. It's when people come over that I open up, let them see what state I'm in. People will catch me in the middle of the day and not get out until 8 or 9 o'clock. I just want someone to listen to me, and I feel like people listen to me, but they do not hear me. I want to be understood, but grief is such a unique process that I don't think Iever will be.